TGIM: Yeah Right

I have had one of the worst days, was late for work, had to cancel a meeting on short notice and then I had to go and evaluate a customer’s car. So with no time to spare I rush to the customer, en I’m supposed to be professional. I’m just glad the customer was drinking when I got to him, cos I looked like I was welding through the night. Dik babelaas.

While there I just felt a strange rumblings in my intestines… .maar kan mos nie ‘n customer wys nie, sorry uncle waars die toilet ek will shup a binge slaan daar….ek moet mos fokken professional wees. I hightail it back to the office, checking ok I got some time. Get back, pick up the daily sun (always good for a few laughs) my smokes? check, phone ? check. Van all you mxit mense ken julle kom net online by phone as julle op die toilet sit!

As I’m going to the loo eish my stomach sound like its doing a blerrie Sasol commercial…is net fokken glug glug glug. I get into the stall, deur toe…broek af….en toe k_link_ dit of daar donderweer buite is…but I made it in time. Light a gwuy, pick up the daily sun…look to my left…..WHERE’S THE FOKKEN TOILETPAPER ???…..ag fcuk no :_b_link__:.

What to do, what to do…..do I phone a bra to bring me some…Ja…eish no answer. At home I would just do the duck…..you know the duck….. when you waddle , boude geknuip, broek om die bene…getting toilet paper in the cupboard. And I don’t want skid marks on my onnie, so I half assed pull my pants up….boude geknuip to the next stall.

Maar ek is partymal fokken stupid. Instead of just going into the next stall to finish there…NEEEEEEEE ek will net toilet paper gryp en terug manouver. In my gusto to get some wiping assistance I broke the paper dispenser off the wall…..toe val my broek af….toe kom die cleaning lady in met die paper refill. Shyte I turned bright purple…want eks mos nie wit nie ek word nie rooi nie.

I’m standing there looking like I’m molesting the paper dispenser. The cleaning lady has a clean view of my hairy a$$. 5 secs of confusion then she screams. Man I wiped at the speed of lightning. Got to the cleaning lady to apologize and offer her some hush money. Actually the money is more to go see a psychiatrist than hush money. I think she might be scarred for life.

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I caught my eyes looking at a guys tight firm bums. I’m not to sure….but I think my eyes might be gay.