Dear Jordan

(Not for sensitive readers)

I remember the first day you came. Was during the December holidays and I didn’t have a damn clue who you were. My cousin pulled me aside and told me about you. I made as if I knew about you and brushed her aside.

Dear Jordan, I told her you were just a discharge I had been having the last few months. But back in the bathroom I lined my panties with sommer the whole toilet roll. I walked out of that bathroom with legs so far apart, and all my other cousins now staring at me. I did not have a clue. I kept wondering why am I not hurting if I bleeding this much.

We were at my grandmothers house. Someone called my mom and she took me home. She asked me if I didn’t know what it was. And she explained you were a period. Like a full stop after a sentence period. That I was “sick” and that my life stopped while you were there. Stop swimming period. Stop washing your hair period. Stop hockey period. Stop walking in the wind period.

I remember putting on my very first sanitary towel. And how I banged it with my fist onto my underwear so I’d be sure iy would stick there. Lol I think I did that for a whole year in fact.

In the beginning I hated you, dear Jordan. You dictated the pants I wore, down to the very colours I could not wear! I blamed my cramps and my headaches and mood swings all on you.

Until about two years later when my biology teacher explained that because of you I have every curve in my body. Becuase of you there is a rise and swell in my breasts and hips. Because of you, that my emotions become all giddy when I’m around a boy I like. Because of you that one day I’ll be able to bear our first child… How could I not appreciate you now?

Dear Jordan, I named you when I was 15 years old. I named you after the river you so strongly resemble. Lol A never ending rushing babbling river between my legs. Your desire to be within my most private place and sharing something so sacred with me every month has made you into my friend. Without you, I’m lost. Because of you I know that everything is alright in my physical body. That everything is ticking in its rightful place. When you’re not there, I have been known to panic. We share a secret that everything is ok, that everything will be fine.

We’re gonna be friends for a long time, you and I. And when you’re gone, I will miss you