Hard Work Pays off

Ntswaki turns 40 next year. She is a traditional healer, a mother of 5 children ages 2 and a bit to 21. She has been single for most of her life with the exception, albeit it 5 times, of interloping lovers that somehow never lives up to the desired expectation of life long partner.

She has a four roomed house in Soshanguve, the floors are made of mud, cold and stiff like clammy marble, red like the earth the walls have not been plastered and the television sits in the lounge, its ominous presence lurking like the remnants of an ogre no one can see but only sense. The TV exudes energy even thought the electricity is cut and has been cut for near 8 months. Her rent, or bond or whatever it is that she pays for her house a mere R10, and even this was a struggle for her.

She is my new nanny…and housekeeper and the person whose help is so much appreciated because her being in my life means that I can have a life. I can work on my relationship and collaborate on projects with friends and enjoy being a grown up.

When last did you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face, turned over and found your partner staring at you dreamily…

There was a time in my life when I thought my dream world offered me a life beyond this life and it seemed that this would be all my life had to offer. The constant yearning for things just just just out of reach. The ever elusive happiness so many of us girls seek…and offer if someone can trust you long enough to prove it.

I have finally found a place to lay my hat and someone willing to pick it up after me!

Hala la!

Ok then friends, enough gloating for now…I promise to write more soon. We also have a gardener and on Wednesday I go to the lady doctor to enable conception because at 32 (yes 32 in September) I think I am ready to bring another little one into the world. My world is stable now, my biggest concerns are a toss up between what foods we are eating and whether I should paint my toe nails red or keep them clear. I have one life, the things that happen at home and what I do for work have finally started to intertwine in the simplest way.

I am seeing my daughter grow up, her vocab increasing and her attitude changing as she grows more and more confident in her place on the planet. What more could I ask for, no we are not filthy stinking rich, we live a modest life, we save money (ok, he does…I still suck at it), we own the cars we drive and are working our way to being wealthy – rather than rich. We surround ourselves with friends who adore us and deal with challenges head on.

One life and one love.

Sometimes he leaves with his friends and comes back early hours of the morning, I get mad…I get suspicious…I blow off steam, and to make up he buys me flowers and treats me like a queen…he is making an attempt to figure me out, he thinks I am sexy and pretty, what more could I ask for.

So many of you have been with me for a number of years, you know how I struggle with relationships; you even recognize some of yourself in me. I would even go as far as saying that some of you are happy that I am happy (and I am…its sickening) but then there are those who wish harm on people they never even met. To those bitches (male and female by the way) I have one thing to say: Ne ne ne ne ne…

Just being silly, sorry.

I am going to write about serious issues, colored identity, Xhosa men, raising a child of mixed race, how fucked up the ANC is, how SUPER fucked up the DA and ID together is…DAID or will it be IDDA, the truth about Rasool and the illuminati…but for now allow me to enjoy my new found freedom, the happiness I found with M and running a house with chickens, one sheep, goat and pig…. (ok the sheep goat and pig I am still negotiating but a girl can dream!)

And wish me luck on Wednesday…I would love to experience pregnancy within this environment. I deserve it.

One life people!