Bump and Grind

So far I seen Poort, Toekies (speedmountains) , Riverlea, Bosmont, Newclare, Westren all got too friggin much speedbumps. Horseshoe you might say is unaffected, neva bru they got reverse speedbumps…namely moerse potholes.

Now I have a theory on how this happened. One laaitie, in his drinking driving wisdom must’ve been trying to show off and moered himself into a aunty’s tree or even the house . The Aunty is now sick of this and she mos got connections in the city council so she makes a plan. Low and behold the first speedbump gets built. Aunty is happy, and ouens not realizing there’s a speedbump around da corner fcuk up their suspensions and a few Golfs lose their Cressida lips.

But now the one speedbumps in da road almost becomes a starting line for more speedink, so neighbours down the road complain they also want one. Hauwa the Council says, it costs a lot of money…ons kan nie elke Tony, Dean en Harry accommodate nie. Ons mense vat mos nie net sommer kak soos daai nie , so peeps start building their own speedbumps…sommer met klippe, spruitjie sand, cement, tamalykie stroop, prestik, ou nappies etc.

Council check waste kak vang die bushies weer an, they remove some money from child welfare, the new police station, the hospice, the clinic…just not out their pockets mind you, and they start putting up speedbumps every 30 centimeters in the road.

En toe bou hulle nog traffic circles, fok om ons net meer te confuse.
En daai klein ten at a time speedbumps orso causing havoc, not that they slow people down…is net die meide laik oor dit ry vir die vibrations , remoer op en af in dieselfde straat die whole day.

I have seen some people sommer dig up a speedbump…not cos it’s retaliation, hai die mense nodig die teer vir hulle nuwe driveway. In Toekies they sommer spin the bumps flat.

I believe the speedbumps are a ugly necessity, kyk hier, ons willie weer ‘n situation heh nie waar Ollie oor die lektrik draade gestamp word nie but dang its in excess…12 speedbumps in a road that’s only 2 km long….mense fokken teach your chilrens about street safety first man…En waar de Fok is Daantjie Kat deesdae .

Ek like om te bump neh but pretty soon moet ek round slaat in a kidney belt hond. G’n wonder ek bly dronk die bumps skud al die alcohol uit my lewer uit.

JB
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Julle toun is so erg julle speedbumps het speedbumps