Invite to Pity Party

Invite to Pity Party

Landi is cordially inviting all BO members to her Pity Party.

Venue : MY blogspace

Time: Tot ek voel ek is kla gemoan

Jusso…. ek voel mos oraait blind KAK vandag. I feel like a victim , ek was lanklaas die dumpi-tee (i.e. not the dumpi-tor)in n situation. Even though it was one of those no-potential-relationships that you know won’t lead anywhere , n mens voel nog steeds KAK as jy nie die een is wat die dumping doen nie.

Funny thing is last night I wasn’t so crushed( I think I was expecting it), luister nog na sy instant falling in love story, gee nog blerrie advice . Ek was genuinely bly vir die man want hy deserve a bietjie liefde , he had a nasty break-up two years ago and have been partying his sorrows away eversince. He deserve some stability and we both new our “agreement” was temporary.

And when he left lastnight I logged onto BO and cracked myself for Shakes en Jaydee se township tours , totally forgetting I’ve been dumped.

And today it hit me, sh*t Landi you are the dumpi-tee, you been dumped, dropped , af ge stof etc!!!

Jrrr… suddenly there is NO-ONE to take me out, NO-ONE to call for company, NO-ONE to come to my rescue,NO-MORE loving, he is just not available anymore.

Ek is alleen. En hy is blerrie inlove.

When it hit me , I suddenly wanted to call him and tell him I’m all alone now and he must find me some one too, is mos fair ? of hoe?( I left the thought , I’ll do it next week, willie he hy moet dink ek is deperate nie), jus kidding! but the thought did cross my mind)

Ja nee, is n blind feeling…ek wonder moet ek nou sy goed vir hom gee, die DVD’s, die muis, sy kombers, sy tandeborsel, sy waslap(of kan ek dit gebruik nou vir n ou-lap), sy tuppaware bak, al die simpel goed gaan deur my gedagates. En nou wonder ek , moet ek huil ? then I think again it will feel stupid to cry about something that was inevitable , then I wish there was tears, maybe it helps, who knows?

And then deep , deep, deep down 20% of me is genuinely happy for him that he found some direction. He has a good heart, loves hard and he deserves someone who will love him equally hard.

But where does that leave me?

(en nou dink ek weer , kan ekkie sy vensters gaan uit gooi nie, he will never know its me, maybe this feeling of kakness will go away )