School of the Hard Knocks – n Heritage Day Lesson

(Editor – Apologies for the delay in publishing this)

Heita da!
Vandag, because die is ‘n Heritage Day article, het ek ‘n guest writer in die 18 area.
My
sizza (sister for y’all who still don’t know) gaan bietjie uit help om
te sê wat wat, ek het haa’ op ‘n pos gesit om te sê gaan vind bietjie
uit van waar af kom ons en so aan, ensovoorts, et cetera, wat wat.

Sy
kom mos met ‘n vengeance terug met so ander book wat sy opgespoor ‘it –
deur ‘n ander taaima – Dr. William Langeveldt – Afrika se Khoi-San
Griekwa.

Nou voordat sy oorvat, laat ek somme eeste confess om te sê Moerskont! ons is kak ignorant!

Die
taaima se report loop met die title ‘Aluta Continua! Die Stryd Duur
Voot! (The Struggle Continues) en bliksem ! ek het baie geleer jong!

Anyway
– heritage day is mos van familie en roots en wat wat – en van waar af
ons kom en al daai soort goetes, en this is why ek die article wou aan
vat met ‘n family member, en ek is happy om te sê dit het blaaind nca
uit gekom.

So, soos die boere sê, ‘Without any further a due – introducing- my sister, Lorreal Ferris.

Laterz
Oom Shakes

Hoezit my mede mensies

I am Oom Shakes’ younger sister…Eintlik, ek kennie hoekom moet hy hom so kak groot hou nie cos hy’s mannet 27 going on 50!
I
guess Shakes and I come from the same school of thought, as we grew up
together and spent most of our lives talking a whole lotta %*^%* and we
just mostly enjoyed joking around and we sincerely and earnestly
appreciate the arts (writing, drama, music, poetry) etc.

Nuff
‘bout us…let me school y’all about US, i.e. ons “so called Bushies,
Hotnots, Coloureds, Other Coloureds, Basters” (that we came to believe
we are).

Where do I start..let me see…mmm ….4000 years ago?
Ja, let me start there.

A proper introduction to YOUR roots
Lemme break it down so it can forever be broken!

4000
years ago the Kemet people occupied North Africa where Egypt is today,
the Nubia people occupied the east more or less where Ethopia is, the
Ghana people the west of Africa, and the Congo and Zimbabwe people
occupied Central Africa.
The Southern portion of Africa been occupied by the Khoi and the San People as far back as 8000 years!

The Khoisan people (That means YOU!)

Khoi (upright human being) San (hunter)
Khoisan
are the original inhabitants of SA. Unique in culture. Exceptionally
artistic and gifted yet still oppressed in a democratic and
apartheid-free rainbow nation. Now I know you’re gonna disagree and
tell me you are a descendant of mixed/multi-culture (white and black
etc.)
That may be true, but it may be that you have been
indoctrinated to think that being “Boeshie” is shameful, being Griekwa,
Koranna, Nama, has something to do with an unfortunate history that
ought to be in the past and never to be encountered in future.

Well I say, it’s time for all our ignorant asses to rise up and dig deep into our roots!
Ek
meen..meeste van ons ken net tot op onse oupas en oumas.Ons stel nie
belang van waar hulle kom nie.Worry nie of daar lande of erwe in hulle
name bestaan nie, en eintlik is die hele land ons-sinne. Did you know
that Bantu people came down from central Africa to inhabit SA?
White Europeans, the most famous being Jan van Riebeeck came like the
devil himself to kill, steal and destroy OUR people in OUR land. How is
it possible that you would rather have white ancestors, the same people
who came to rape our great, great,great grand mothers and so produced
the Cape Coloured or Other Coloured etc people.
They gave birth to
an INFERIOR people and yes, we still are. The Europeans’ evil legacy
even made us as a Coloured people discriminate against one another.
Daai’s is te highbug omdat hulle glade hare het. Die’s is te low class
omdat hulle donker van kleur is of kroes hare het. The extreme
prejudice that we had adopted from these people has caused a rift
between our people, and if we are to continue living a diveided
existence, it is certain to be our demise.
Back to our roots…
We have our own heroes, legends, heroines that we ought to be super proud of.
Namely
my outie (ek hal my hoed af vir hom) Ou Harry die strandloper..I guess
Jan van Riebeeck named him Herrie since they probably couldn’t
pronounce his REAL name –
Autshumato (1611-1663).

He
was the 1st activist ever to be recorded to have been arrested and
captured for not agreeing with the ruling of the white people. He also
was the 1st person to have escaped out of Robben Island where he had
been incarcerated. DIE EERSTE OUTIE WAT BAKLEI HET TEEN DIE STRUGGLE.
En dan word dit gesê ons het al die jare geside met die wit
man…bullsh!t!

We ought to give him props. Biggup to Autshumato!
Not fukken Herrie die strandloper – but Autshumato !!!

Another
legend is our mother, Sara Baartman. A woman who died of extreme
depression and oppression. The word “OPPRESSED” for me, can be
translated: Sara Baartman’s life. At the age of only 25, she died in
France where the British took her and displayed her as a beast or a
rare species, a freak of nature .She had to stand and show off her
naked body for passers by like a motherfucking caged animal. When she
died, her body was cut up and displayed in a museum in Paris,
France. Sara was a Khoi-khoi (which means peoples people – or peoples
person or mens van mense) and died in 1816. RIP Mama Sara on this
Heritage day.

This is to name but two great legends. Today we are
all called Coloured. Our leaders or heroes that need mention are the
likes of Allan Boesak, Danny Jordaan, Trevor Manual, Patricia De Lille
to name but a few. It’s important to at least acknowledge that we are
not as fucked up as they would like us to believe. They robbed us from
our culture, our art our land and even our languages. Take Xhosa for
example. The Xhosa language is directly borrowed from Khoi languages.
Ironically though, SA has 11 official languages yet none of they
Khoisan languages are included in these 11 official languages..Nou waar
staan ONS dan in die land wat eint’lik ons-sinne is?
Ney man. Don’t we “as a people” have the same rights as any other? Well then please define democracy for me!

I
don’t know man…media portray us as, toothless dronkgatte, prostitutes,
carjackers, gangsters (and all with Cape flats accents). I personally
think people around US see the potential in US AS A PEOPLE and we are
to scared to claim, welcome and accept it. We generally spend most of
our time druking mekaar af instead of building our people up.
What I
would like to see is our people supporting and uplifting one another.
Let’s support OUR OWN people’s music, art efforts and initiatives coz
evidently ain’t nobody gonna help us if we don’t help our OWN.

Let’s continue Autshumato’s legacy and fight for who we are and what we believe in.

Coloured
….What an horrendous name to be called. What a bullsh!t term to
be characterized under. But call me what the hell you want at least now
I know where I come from and sho’ nuff know where I’m going to (lacing
up my boots and going back to my roots to claim just what the fuck I
ought to own….this land!)

Somebody’s gotta do it!

Have an awesome heritage day
Peace y’all

Over to Oom Shakes

Shap my sister – lat ek wee’ oorvat.

Iets wat ek nca gevind ‘it in die boek van Dr William Langevelt was dat daa’ ‘n Damakwa tribe was, indigenous in Port Elizabeth.
Jislaak’it
! My ma se nooiens van is Du Makwa – ek het nog nooit geweet dat ek
somme in my immediate family my roots kan begin trace nie.
My Oupa
se naam is JAFTA Du Makwa, Hy’t nie laities gehet om die naam
verder te dra nie, net twee meisies, my tannie en my antie (as jy ‘n
laanie is en jy lees die dan’s jy nou seker kak confused nê- Tannie is
ma en Antie is Tante jou bliksem – free lesson van die School of
Hard Knocks), maar sy broer het ‘n seun en hy’t 9 kinders – so ses van
hulle is laaties – so die Du Makwa tribe gaan nog sterk voorentoe.

Die
Du Makwas was gif met ‘n stukkie jazz – my oupa was ‘n Jazz musician en
het ge-feature met piano, kitaar, violin en harmonica amongst other
instruments. Hy’t somme waya waya, apartheid jare of te not, Afrika
getravel en ge-feature in Kenya ensovoorts.
Hy’t baie gekoeks, en die drank het hom eventually opgeeet (RIP dad (dêt)).

Ek
ve’staan om te sê die Khoi San ouens het ook hulle eie music
instruments ge-feature – een wat hulle mention is die boog (bow) wat
ge-double ‘it as some kinda stringed instrument. So die ouens het
somme’ as hulle klaa’ ‘n bok of ‘n ding geskiet ‘it somme ‘n numba
gemaak – kan julle sien – is daa’ wat julle rhythm van daan kom.

‘n Ander ding wat ny binne geslaan ‘it was die feit dat ek al die tribes se name kon check., en waa hulle geblom it.

Chochokwa – Indigenous van die Western Cape
Grigrikwa – Saldanha
Chainoukwa – Caledon
Hessekwa – Swellendam
Gourikwa – Mosselbaai
Gonnakwa – Grahamstown
Attakwa – Oudtshoorn
Damakwa – Port Elizabeth
Inkwa – Aberdeen
Karrikama – Griqua Town
Griekwa – Kimberly
Koranna – Douglas
Einikwa – Upington
Namakwa -Namaqualand

Ek het ook genca om bietjie iets uit te vind van die Khoi
se religion. Die Khoi se God was Tsui=//goab (that’s how its spelt – I
have know idea how to pronounce it). Tsui=//goab was the creator, the
protector of good health, the source of prosperity and abundance, and
above all, it was HE who controls the clouds, the lightning and the
rain.
The devil was //gaunub, an evil spirit who caused sickness and death.
This religion is the oldest recorded religion on the continent of Africa – now isn’t that something interesting ?
This could be a whole topic on its own.

Die
beste van alles vir my was om uit te vind dat daa’ rock art in Vryburg
is wat about 8000 jaar oud is. Ons was mense van art, mense wat goetes
ge-record ‘it, in onse eie way.
Mense van medisyne – ek vestaan dagga is ‘n Khoi San word.

Dagga, kwagga, eina!. Eitsa ! almal Khoi San woorde.

Goetes wat my die moer in gemaak it was :

Daa’ was ‘n genocide van Khoi San mense.
Die boere het ander tyd bevok geraak en onse mense met kak sat gemaak.
‘n Genocide is soos daai kak wat in 94 in Rwanda gebeur ‘it. Baie mense gaan lelik dood.
Die boek is nie baie detailed met die genocide storie nie maar ek sal dit follow-up en julle aan kap.

Die Sara Baartman storie
Aai tog. Is dit nou regtig nodig om so te gemaak ‘it met die vrou ?
Soos
‘n fukken dier in ‘n cage te hou ? En toe sy sat gaan toe kap hulle
haa’ body parts op en sit dit in ‘n museum – die mense is fukken cruel
jong.

Krotoa
Daar was ‘n meddie met die naam van Krotoa
(1642 – 1674). Nou sy was blaaind goed met ‘n stukkie taal en sy’t sjap
sjap (chop chop if you will) Hollandse taal gewheatie.
Sy het Khoi-Hollands-Portugees ve’staan en ge-master.
Sy was die meddie wat ons begin ‘it Afrikaans leer.
Nou
Jan Van Riebeeck, moerskont wat hy was, het gekom met slim gedagtes, en
hy wou die ouens oor die ore slaan met die dealings van tabacco en
drank (probably Stuyvesant en Jack) vir beeste en skape. Nou Kratoa was
‘n interpreter. Plus ou Van Riebeeck sit haa’ met ‘n kop in (put her
with a head in) om die ouens te knock. Plus hy loop nca, want die ouens
is mos Khoi-Khoi (mens se mens) en hulle is nie nog wys van die HARD
KNOCK LIFE nie. Plus ou Van Riebeck loop toe nca – vat die ouens se
hele livestock en los hulle met copper bangles, en mos nou die Jack en
die los gwayis.
(Copper bangles – bling bling money aint a thang).

Krotoa trou toe ‘n laanie outie – Ou Pieter van Meerhof, en hulle laaties is toe van die ee’ste recorded bushies ever.
(the
terms ‘laanie’ en ‘boer’ are used interchangeably throughout the text
to refer to any Caucasian, Anglo-Saxon , or any other person of
European descent).

Ou Pieter van Meerhof gaan toe sat
(died,or kicked the bucket if you’re a outie of euphemisms what
what), en Krotoa se mense soek haa’ nie wee t’rug nie want sy was mos
ore aan gesit om die ouens oor die ore te slaan (she was influenced to
deceive the ouens), en die boere wat sy mee geblom it toe haa’ man nog
in die area was gooi hulle ook uit die call uit ( refused to associate
with her).
Sy’t bly bly ge-try om met die boere te blom – maar hulle wil mos zaan fokol hoor nie,
(they mos then didn’t want to hear bugger all).

Scarce hundred (not long after that), drink sy haa’self dronk, en sy gaan alleen alleen sat.
(She passed on [another euphemism ] – alleen alleen = very alone, but I guess you could have figured that one out on your own.)

Galant
Daa’s
ook ‘n ander storie van Galant van approximately 1825. Hy’t nou wee met
die laanie groot geword – saam gespeel as laaties en alles – ollie,
Roberts en tax, seven dens, rounders,, elke ding – sagte tye..
Toe
hulle nou groot word toe word hom achoes (pal) hom baas, en daa’ was
(die proverbial) kak in die land. Check it out for yourself in Andre P.
Brinks A Chain of Voices (1982)

Slave trade
Ek kyk nou na ‘n excerpt van die CAPE TOWN GAZETTE 1818/9 wat wys om te sê.

Offered
for a private sale, a very clever Copper smith named Appolis with his
wife Lydia and 5 children, by the heirs of the Late Hendrik Leonard
Aspeling.

For sale: a COMPLETE housemaid, named Conradie, a
native of this place, and 25 years old, Apply to A.V Wolhuter, 4
Kerk Street.

Check die italic uppercase hie’bo – I mean what the fuck ? was daa’ fucken incomplete fucken housemaids ook ?

Dop Stelsel
Oh vok !
Die hele fukken wyn industry is gebou op my mense se sweat.
Die
is nou wee die fukken French motherfuckers, bomah Du Toit,
Marais,Terreblanche hulle, wat nou gekom ‘it met hulle gedagtes om ook
hulle vingers in die pie te druk.

Die ouens se pay – ‘n fukken bottle wyn nadat jy die hele dag jou gat afgewerk it.
Dan wonder hulle hoekom onse mense so is vandag.

Ek word die moer in soos ek die goetes lees.
Ek wil nie verder aangaan nie.

Ek dink ek los dit maar hie’so vir vandag.
Next year – Heritage Day – gaan ek soveel meer van myself ken.
Ek
het somme’ besluit om my hele holiday planne te change en die einde van
die jaar gaan ek once round slaan by my mense en soveel moontelik
uitvind van wat gaan vir wat.
Ek vat my notebook saam, my camera, video camera en elke ding.
Wat
ek leer gaan ek one day as ek kinders kry (Brooklynne,Tyrique en
Keisha – you know how we do) vir hulle ook aan pass – van nou af
en for ever.
Plus ek maak net in tyd klaa’ on Snoop Dogg se Murder was the Case the check op SABC 1.
Is Saturday Night – 10 pm – September17, one week before Heritage Day.

Signing off
Oom Shakes (en guest Lorreal Ferris)
HARD KNOCK it don’t stop!