4SALE

I’m am jus plain and simple wiellietjie choeps and tires with this stuff. I have too much stock.

So I am urgently selling all of my ISSUES. And jus like a charro is all going for half price.

Some are brand spanking new, like the peeps that are gonna tell me that I should’ve posted this on the 4SALE phorum.

Some are approved used issues…some are issues I didn’t know I had..and some are issues people have wit me.

Here the down low on the goods to go.
This special once in a lifetime offer comes with :

Relationship issues.

This has become too big for me…I prefer relationboats.
Issues included here are:

Creative Lying skills for an honourable reasons, and still getting the hell skelled out of me.
Not understanding that theres a difference between paying for sex and paying for sex in a relationship.
Thinking that jewelry = blowjobs
Thinking that BJ’s are not cheating…Can you define the term blowjob..that word does not constitute sex.

And for all those lotto winners out there

Finance issues

Tired of have having a saltless end of the month salty crack.
Dealing with loan sharks, loan tigers and even loan monkeys.
Having to corrupt Bruinou’s working in da bank to slaat ‘n smok.
Having to shuffle bills…you know pay markhams this month and edgars only next month. I’m probably gonna end up paying for my funeral 2 years after I have died. Having an entertainment allowance that comes from not paying other accounts.
Not having people comprie (going half & half) when buying alcohol…and its always the leiseste peeps who suip the most.

But that’s not all, you also get

Law issues

Having my own keys to the courts want ek loop so baie hof. Paying papshelt for 5 years and then finding out the kid-ou is not my laaitie. Ek was getrap.
My issue with drinking and driving…I don’t have an issue with this but the meddies and gattas do. I personally think it an art form and should be listed as a national sport in the Olympics.
Having a gold plated name plate on a private cell in all police stations in Pretoria. I only have two bronze plated ones in JHB so far.
Gattas troubling me when I just wanna blom and drink somewhere. There’s no fuggen signs that say drinking is not allowed at the parking lot of the traffic department.

Are you tired of having fat issues, well say no more I say…here you can have thin issues

Weight issues.

So I’m a maar gat with a boeppens. I’m am still in shape. That is a shape !!!!
So what if I am on a whiskey diet, I lose 7 days…I never said I’m dieting to lose kilograms.
I am told that drinking and throwing up is not a diet….what the fug..it then worked for Kate Moss.
I have a high metabolism and I like it..go toor some one else you….CENSORED

Do you have no stress at work, do you have nothing to do…is your name MUNKY..we have the issues for you here

Work issues

So I love my job and I’m successful…doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with tha boss.
If I’m babelaas at work and stinking like I played on the mine dumps near horseshoe..doesn’t mean that I will forget what…uhmm…uh…vitsek I work fuggen hard to look busy.
It shows creativity at work to be able to make excuses like ” I died last nite and have to make funeral arrangements today.” I am complitent to wek hat four my chelletes

Included in the offer, the all new and improved…

Jealousy issues

Eish I put the lousy in jealousy. Even though it seems I have everything…I don’t wanna be a lonely fool….damn Riggs for putting that song in my head.
Got lost there a moment…It seems I have everything mense but I’m just as lys as you…I have skills on how to hide it.
Whats up wif the ou-ens en the car jealousy…fuggen shyte. Cos I’m driving a BMW now I skinnered about that I have a klein tottiekie. Stupits…My first car was a mini and nobody called me JB groot piel then. Also cos I’m driving a slut…doesn’t mean I’m after your toothless, kroes hare het lankal opgegee en huis toe gechise, skool mattress ghetto bicycle, koekie het dredds en lyk soos ‘n vrot patat met sour cream dip, lyse tussen die lieste, spyt haar kielie blye met doom, hoer van ‘n slet gadagtes en gang bang LADY…of the night.

Sien julle wat se kak en mee moet deal. Die shyte is for free..a give-away. No refunds.

The above issues automatically leads to the below issue at no extra cost…Just like kissing causes sex and then you getrap and the you go crazy…

Mentality issues

I was a scizo, but were fine now. If I come up with sumthing that people don’t understand is not cos I’m fugged up, it’s cos I think outside of the box that the box came in. People can’t understand that I do not suffer from insanity but enjoy every moment of it. Like when I’m scizo…I’m neva alone…I hals myself without having to hurt anybody and if I become a bit psyco I can help myself beat myself up. I’m then my own best friend and worst enemy.
Become temporary insane and putting on a maak laat ek vris lyk vessie used to work when I had a gun…nou I jus get gemoer…this issue discounted by 95%

Is that all, no sannie..we mos not that tite assed…we don’t sell you rice by the number or atchaar by the mangoes…what you’ve all been waiting for…the cream of the dop…

Chat addiction

Eish not an easy issue to handle…ne FOXXY wat al lankal wou retire en is nog steeds a die hard. I chat cos I was once funny (dronk) en now I seek attention. I can’t handle it anymore. I am now drinking and surfing and it is cutting into my drinking and driving hobby.
I never used to believe strange people…but that’s all over now…Now I believe people when they say they 22 when they really 26 and the next day they 20. I still luvs ya CHAN…age ain’t nutting but a number.
Forgetting that chatting honestly anonomously don’t work when chat in reality. Cos reality is just a figment of the imagination of a sober mind.

If I don’t stop here I’m pretty soon gonna have a : trying to hard to be funny and get attention in a phorum that no-one except the DIE HARDS read issue.

All issues sold are non returnable and not refundable…vitsek…ek het jou nie geforce of met ‘n stomp byl geslaan nie. Gaan haal jou thugs…ek het nog my skiet enige fukker just cos I can issue.

All issues are used at your own risk..if you a stupid american that can’t think for youself about the dangers of the issues you buy…we recommend you bring along a 4 year old south African to advise you…If you still try and sue me I haals you wit my “los bitches by florida lake issue” or my “los daai p0*es wat my cousin met ‘n roshie will gedrug het se kaal gat in soweto in” issue.

Please send your your cash, cheques and welfare money to :

JB (PeeEishDee, BDronk; Carling university sports bar in colab wit nite spot worsrolletjies)

Hoek van dop en drink. Teenoor die munisipale skud – Nee foxxy, dis nie ‚n bash nie dis die SPCA.
Featherfoot farm
PO cardboardBOX 696969
Suip Africa

Delivery courtesy of pierie wierie

Current Account-after payment it will be history and you be da suckers.
Number I124q2ni8

Please note:

All names and faces in the above topic has been changed to protect the not so innocent and to use it against them until further developments….

PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of These Issues, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe. These issues warp time and space in their vicinity. Mass of These Issues Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight