Stuff I like part 31 Dream house

So the architectural drawings of my dream house are bothering me again. Not the house of my dreams, understand, but the house from my dreams. A big sprawling overworked Victorian, on a weed-filled lot abutting a graveyard. The stuff of B-movie nightmares. But frightening enough. It haunted me. I could draw it with my eyes closed. I drew it again and again, at every level and from every perspective. It was a mishmash of styles, a bit of Queen Anne here, a touch of Second Empire there, no rhyme or reason to it. This house with its tall Mansard roof, tacked on dormers, gables, wraparound porch, towers poking out seemingly at random. I showed the drawings to an architect once. He dismissed them as “sentimental crap,” and he asked why I was wasting so much time on something so pointless. I did not have an answer for that. I never showed the drawings to anyone else. But I could not stop making them. I thought that if I could get it down on paper, it would be exorcised from my mind. Looking back on that sentiment now, all I can do is laugh. The moment of epiphany, that slice of time when you stand on the brink of a new life, is one of the most magical , most terrifying, most intoxicating experience there is. It is especially so when, on some basic, primal level, you realise that the new world in front of you is somehow the place you were meant to be all along. For a little while all you can do is gape in wonder. And then, if you are very brave, or very foolish, you take your first step. And at some point you realise, maybe then, maybe later, that the person who stepped through the doorway is not the same person who emerged on the other side.