Do you want a pill?

News Cafe is pretty damn popular here in Jozie! I have never experienced anything like it. Lots and lots and lots of people. Where do they all come from. Do you ever walk into a mall on a ordinary week day morning and wonder what the hell those people who sit at cafes and stroll around do all day. Not to mention the gym, is it their jobs to look hot? To make myself feel better I pretend they all are hookers and, well, being at the gym is sort of like an office. i digress, newscafe is kak full on a thursday! I strolled in there last night though (Midrand) i live close by and was a little early so I went straight to the bar and ordered a spritzer, start off slow you know. This dude in track top and pants with kerk skoene, very colorful labels everywhere, hair greasy eyes glazed, beer in hand. Shoots out a stubby hand Hi I am bla bla bla. Whats you name, Oh I am … I say. Why not? After a quick scan of the table availability (0), cute guy detector (00) switched on and realising that yet again the unBELIEVABLE shortage of good looking dick (sorry kan n mens vloek hieso?) in this town is truly oppressive! I turn my back to give my next move some thought, aint nobody in here i would want to look at so i said – ja ok, lets sit with Mr shady and his friend. At that stage my collegue had joined and it turns out mr shady works for a car company. He sells cars for a living. Great stuff – fab that he has a job, right? But check this. He got up every time someone came in and then proceeded to hug them and high five them.

Few minutes and few drinks later he pops the question about popping a pill. I have always hated the stuff it has the opposite effect on me. I want to be alone and no one should even talk to me when i am on it so I am not a fan of pills and last time I had one i was in a very remote farm house on the outskirts of aberdeen with mr larry byrne and his sheep and his piano…we danced under the moon and slept like logs the next day. he is one of my best friends no funny business…

So no Mr Shady i will not try a pill and yes I might be boring but at least i am not making a donkeys ass of myself.

His poor friend sat there tried to keep the coversation going but when he proceeded to tell me how being a single parent is better than raising chlidren where both parents are active stable and loving, forming a family unit, i switched off and the rest of the eve all i heard from him was drone drone drone oh and drone. He actually thinks that to pay someone to take care of your child is better than actually a mother or father itself because you will have more control over what they do with your kids. I told him he had control issues! Then stone walled him. They tried to sneak off without paying their bill but my waiter was fast. Good on you my broer. My collegue and I drank Chivas (12 year old) with crushed ice and then went to the car to listen to rebirth 1. First song Marvin Gaye (I want you) the most amazingly sexy version ever! I kicked him out of my car and played Ms Diane Schuur…with the carriabean jazz project – got home and crept into bed next to my Lela…tonight katzy’s! Yeah (I will be the one singing along!)