Taking Offence

Lately i’ve seen how people got offended at each other in fact it’s been going on since way back and i think it will continue.I believe that there is good in all humans but mostly it is the bad that we allow to come forth,it’s like we don’t know how to let the good come out.

Someone once said that when you squeese a orange what do you expect to come out?.Orange juice right?but what happens if you are squeese a person?In other words when you are under pressure and find yourself in a corner. That is the time when the true me are exposed; the part that is usually hidden under a charade of smiles and sweet talk.

As a christian i have learned that offence is Gods way of teaching me and bringing me to maturity.No wonder the Apostle Paul said “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man(matured), I put childish ways behind me. (Emphasis mine)1Corinthians 13:11.

Offence is a terrible thing and i’ve seen long time friendships and relationships shattered because of it.The bible have many examples of this where people got offended at Jesus eg.His disciples (John 6:53 ;Matthew26:31;Matthew 13:54 ;John 7:2-5.)

A few years ago i did a case study on this topic and found some very interesting facts.The word offence comes from the Greek word ‘scandolon’ from which we derive the word scandal.It litery means a trap,a snare, stumblingblock,to fall or stumble.Its like a bird that goes for the bait set in the trap.Once the bird bite on the bait the trap closes.

It is the same in our lives,someone says something and you; without thinking get offended and go for the bait and bang the trap closes and you stand redfaced and angry and ashamed.Ever been in a situation where someone says something and you react too hastily and then find out the person never talked about you?then you have to turn around and apologise and everyone is laughing at you…

I have found that there is a reason why God allows offence to come our way.To deal with pride and our ego.Proverbs.16:18.To deal with disobedience 1 pet.2:7-8. To deal with our hearts.Offence is at tool God uses to humble us.Remember the orange?When someone swears at you the first thing you wanna do is to swear back(an eye for an eye).

Then the classic excuses ‘they started it!’ and ‘it wasn’t me’Adam also blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent; so it is in our genes to put the blame on others.

Scenario:Two boys play in the road.Johny cries and tells his mommy that Jack hurt his arm.Mom says to Johny i dont want you to play with that boy anymore his mother knows that he likes to fight.Ten minutes later the two boys are laughing and playing but for the next ten months their parrents don’t talk to each other.

Taking offence on someone elses behalve is not a good thing,in fact you can get in deeper trouble because of this,think twice.

“Now how do we handle offence Dr.Phill?”i hear you ask.Easy don’t get offended.Don’t go for the bait,resist it, ignore it.We need to deal with the things that cause offence in our lives.Matthew 18:8 “Wherefore if thy hand or foot offend thee cut them off.”Eg.siblings knows what offends the other the most and they will always get you in that area of your life,but once you’ve learned not to get angry anymore they will later leave you alone cause it’s not fun anymore.

Sensitive moods or aggression is also something we need to deal with.Take off the mask and be yourself.Some people fear rejection and will do anything not to get hurt.They are always defending themselves and feel that everyone is against them.We should change our mindset and become more secure in who we are and not allow people to determine who we are.Build confidence in yourselve and don’t allow others to manipulate you.Take controll of your emotions.In Gods eyes you are wonderfully and fearfully made.He knew about you before the foundations of the earth was laid.The Word of God is full of Gods love for us.Psalm 119:165 ‘Great peace have they which love thy law,and nothing shall offend them.’

Don’t say i am like i am and nothing can change me or was born like this.There is nothing more horrible than a stinking attitude.Get into the right attitude,be more positive and remember that everyone is’nt always going to be nice to you,but you have a choice how you will handle the situation.Brotherly love for your neighbour and respect for all people will make it easier for us not to be easily offended.1John 2:10 Whoever loves his brother lives in the light,and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.

1Corinthians 13:4…Love…..It is not rude ,it is not selfseeking,it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of the wrongs…Love covers a multitude of sins.

It is not a weakness to be humble,God infact commends humility.Friends we all can make a difference in this world if we only start with ourselves.Don’t allow a thing like offence to break precious relationships ,rather freely forgive and let go of past hurts and misunderstandings.Offence causes bitternes and hatred which in return causes us to live miserable lives and some people even get sick.

I have learned to not to let offence rule my life in fact to get angry is not wrong but the bible says not to let our anger cause us to sin.Ephesians 4:26″In your anger do not sin”^[d]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

Bottom line is this; one cannot live for yourself only.We are commanded to love our neighbours as we love ourselves…so start loving yourself more so you can love others more.

Love and peace to all of you.LJ