Apology

People who touch the dark, embrace the wicked, or are doomed by desires all open themselves to being caught up in psychological nightmares brought to life. Infidelity, jealousy, greed, lust, they are all there. Just out of mind, and for some, they are not so out of mind, just out of reach. But before we reach, we should know there are forces at work which can and will level the scales of justice. Through the years, there have been many rules that I have tried to live by. But one in particular, springs to mind. “I will try anything twice on the off-chance that I may have screwed it up the first time.” This has served me unusually well when it has involved chocolate cake, Madonna Louise Ciccone, experimentation and the odd affair. I like to think of myself as open-minded, with exceptions. For some, it is easiest to write me off as crazy. They would be mistaken. I am coloured. That’s what happens when you are a merry mixture of genetic information. You get a healthy dose of all the “good” and the “bad” genes. Ironic is it not, since everyone thinks I am crazy, yet my genetic make-up is a gift/curse from most of them. You can read into it whatever you would care to, but I have learned a thing or three in this life, and you are better off experiencing what you do not know than not. Again, there are exceptions. It still amazes me how weak men can be. Add to any situation the single ingredient of a pretty woman and watch the braying begin. It is not enough to be well-liked or well-thought-of for us. It is about being the charmer, the swinger, the smoothy, the George Clooney of it all. Now, I have had the pleasure of knowing her for most of my life, and while there are times we where we have shared a cross word, I would not give back a single moment. After a few minutes with her, anyone could see why. The expression “she has a magical quality about her” sums it up. So as I was saying, there are experiences that we all should taste and regrets I have had a few, and what it all amounts to, as Louis Armstrong so eloquently sang it “what a wonderful world.” There are those who make it so and those who do not. It is, however important to understand that there are consequences for both parties. I would like to think it all comes down to belief. The Christians have Jesus, the Moslems have Mohammed and the Buddhists have Buddha. The point is that, despite some who would tell you otherwise, it is not about who is right and who is wrong. Open your eyes and see how we are all connected. Whoever said that “none are so blind as those who will not see” really knew what he or she was talking about. Sometimes it helps to think of a love affair like a game of cards. We are each dealt 5 cards, only in this case, they are made of fine blown glass and are incredibly brittle. As we get closer and more trusting, we show more and more of our hand by putting down a card at a time, knowing that it’s all a gamble. One day the affair ends and the cards are swept off the table and shatter. And all we want are the cards back intact. When the whole point in the first place was to play a game of cards. Now she has always been a bit of a gambler. I cannot say I am comfortable with it, as gamblers are an interesting sort. They derive pleasure from watching others participate in life and then wagering on the outcome. Its like watching TV and yelling for one the Heroes to “watch out” or making love with your eyes closed. Either way, you are not really in the game. I have nothing against her, I really don’t. And as I have said, I will try anything twice, especially when it involves women of the passionate sort. But, there is something about her. Something disturbing? Uncontrollable? Combustible. Oh, and another good rule to live by: be prepared for anything. Maybe its the wealth and maybe its the poverty or maybe its for you to know and for me to find out!