What makes relationships?

What makes relationships?

I have pondered this question since I was 12 years old, I always thought that I cant do something I don’t understand, and although I was put under much pressure to have a boyfriend I maintained that I couldn’t be in a relationship unless I understood the dynamics of it. So, Ive given this much thought over many years and this is what Ive come up with thus far…

There are in my mind four other ships that should be present in all relationships we enter into (romantic and otherwise), things I think are essential to the establishment and maintenance of relationships.

1. Acquaintanceship: This refers to the time when you are acquainted with the other person but are in a position to observe them and interact with them outside of an attachment or expectation. Its also usually associated with attraction, romantic or platonic. This is the initial basis for making the decision to invest into a relationship and while it does not always happen, I think that much can be gained and learned about the viability of a relationship at this stage. Getting to know someone before putting in too much too soon.
2. Fellowship: This denotes a purposive giving of time and energy to the other person with the intention of getting to know the person better and being a companion. Fellowship should be constructive, a way to learn about and from each other.
3. Friendship: Friendship develops and is maintained by fellowship, but is much more then just that. Friendship includes love. All friendships are based on love and can be seen by certain words and actions, one important one being priority (see Gerrry’s Love blog). Friends are people who don’t just spend time together, but have a deep care and concern for the other person as a priority for us. It is true that some friendships are seasonal and others are permanent, but even in seasonal friendships, at the time of the relationship prioritizing that person is a sign of your love for them and a dividend of the investment of fellowship.
4. Worship: I think that in all relationships this aspect can be easily overlooked, but I think its probably the most important one. Worship can be defined as acknowledging the worth of someone and to respond accordingly. Now, Im not advocating that we worship the people we in relationships with, Im saying that our relationships with others should be an act of worship to God. How? Well first by realizing that our relationships with others should reflect our relationship with God, the values and principles we learn from God and toward God. Second, we should always see our relationships as an opportunity to serve God’s purposes in our lives and the person we are in relationship with. Does the contribution I make in this relationship and way decisions made, the actions and outcomes serve God? Is what happens in the context of this relationship line up with the principles of God’s word and will?

I think that all types and levels of relationships are characterised by one or more of these ships and perhaps healthy relationships should be build and include all of these…but this comes from me….I don’t have a large base of life experience and have had very few relationships so I suppose, the proof for me will still be in the pudding and the eating.