Chipyks
Chapter 1: Enter the Green & Gold Gods
Somewhere in the heart of South Africa, under the shadow of a stadium echoing with war cries and vuvuzelas, the Springboks emerge. Broad shoulders. Vaseline glinting. Chests puffed. The national anthem hits and these brasse sing “Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika” like it’s a fokken Avengers theme song.
Then… 💥💸
R118,198 just for showing up.
Didn’t run? Didn’t tackle? Just stood tall and looked lekker on SuperSport?
Boom. R59K a week.
That water bottle you held with conviction? Racked you more than a teacher’s salary.
Even the training squad okes — the manne who only jogged in slow motion, clapped hands, shouted “Ja nee boys let’s GO!” —
R8,500 a day.
To sweat a bit. To show up. To exist.
That’s not salary. That’s spiritual reparations.
Chapter 2: The Bafana Bafana Bamboozle
Now cut to the other field.
Bafana Bafana.
Our national soccer hope. The ones who chase a ball for 90 minutes, fight with defenders like it’s a TikTok beef, dive like Olympic gymnasts — and STILL get voetsek niks when they lose.
Won the match? R60K if the bank app didn’t crash.
Drew the game? R30K, maybe a cold drink.
Lost?
Not even a Margherita Simba packet to wipe the tears.
Just vibes and prayer.
And if SAFA’s account hit NSF?
Your bonus is spiritually pending, broer. Maybe Jesus processes it next month. Maybe not.
Chapter 3: The Comparison that Should Be a Crime
Let me say it with my chest:
The Springbok benchwarmer earns more in a week to pass Powerade bottles than a Bafana striker who ran a marathon, fought tooth and shinpad, AND managed to keep a clean fade.
📈 Bokke: Buying G-Wagons.
📉 Bafana: Still loading lunch money via eWallet.
Springboks:
🏋️ “We hit hard, we cash harder.”
Bafana:
🏃♂️ “We try, maar SAFA is typing…”
WATCH: The Shocking Salaries of South Africa’s Rugby Superstars
Chapter 4: The Lesson for the Laaities
Next time your child says:
“Papa, I wanna play soccer!”
You look that child dead in the eyes and say:
❌ “No, my boy.
Not for R30K and a fruit pack.
Pick up that rugby ball.
Put on a gum guard.
And learn how to moer someone legally.
That’s where the BAG lives.” 💼💥
Final Chapter: The Mic Drop
📢 THIS ISN’T A GAME.
This is SA sport economics.
Rugby gets you respect, bags, and medical aid with a turbo plan.
Soccer gets you a bruise, a shoutout, and exposure as payment.
So till SAFA levels up?
🔥 The answer is simple:
Play rugby.
Get capped.
Buy your mom a car.
And leave Bafana behind… with their bounce-back emails and overdraft dreams.
