Chipyks
Chapter 1: The Great Digital Assassination
Alright, my people, gather round. Let me tell you a story of betrayal, confusion, and a mystery that haunted me for over TWO DECADES.
You already know the legend of my profile—how I built an empire of forum posts, how my karma sat at a beautiful, glorious, negative -3000, how I was basically the Coloured Socrates of the Bruinou.com forums.
And then, out of nowhere, my digital empire was nuked. My existence? Erased.
One day, I logged in. Nothing. Password? Dead. Username? Not found. It was like a bad breakup, except I didn’t even get a “we need to talk” message before getting ghosted.
For 20 years, I lived with the burning question:
WHO THE F#%& DELETED MY PROFILE?
I went through all the suspects in my head:
🔍 Was it the government? Maybe they finally got tired of my skelm wisdom and shut me down.
🔍 Was it jealous haters? Too many people couldn’t handle my heat, but would they go this far?
🔍 Was it a glitch in the matrix? Was I just too powerful for the internet?
For TWO DECADES, I carried this question like a man carrying a full plate at a wedding—with stress, sweat, and the fear of dropping it all.
Then, finally, the truth emerged.
Chapter 2: The Plot Thickens – Enter Charles Ash
One day, the legend himself, Charles Ash, calls me up. Not for a confession. Not for a peace treaty. But to summon me back to the site.
“Bro, we need your writing on Bruinou.”
Now, listen. I don’t hold grudges, but you don’t just get assassinated online and return like nothing happened. So I asked him:
“Charles, my guy, WHO DELETED ME?”
And then, like a twist in a bad SABC drama, the answer finally dropped.
It wasn’t the government.
It wasn’t the haters.
It wasn’t even an internet glitch.
IT WAS HIS OWN DAMN BROTHER.
🥶 HIS. OWN. BLOOD.
Now, why? That’s the part I STILL DON’T KNOW.
Was he jealous of my legendary posts? (Probably.)
Was it a drunken mistake? (Doubtful. That delete button isn’t that easy to press.)
Was he on some kind of power trip? (Sounds likely. Admin power gets to people, man.)
The truth is still out there. Maybe I’ll never know. Maybe it’s better that way. Maybe the legend of my great deletion is meant to live on, whispered in the digital streets like an unsolved crime.
But here’s what I DO know:
Chapter 3: The Rise of the Phoenix
Despite all of that, I’m back.
After 20+ years of silence, of wandering the internet like a digital ghost, I have risen from the ashes like a proper Coloured Phoenix (probably wearing plakkies and holding a beer).
And this time? I’m here to stay.
This isn’t just a return. This is a comeback.
🔥 I’ll teach you how to stripe a lawn like a boss—because some of you are out here ruining your grass like it’s your ex’s car.
🔥 I’ll teach you how to make a curry so legendary, people will cry. (Yes, literal tears.)
🔥 I’ll rant, I’ll joke, I’ll write whatever the hell I want—because I survived digital death, and now I’m unstoppable.
So here’s the deal.
I’m back. You’re reading this. And the legend of my deleted profile will live forever.
Let’s make some noise. Bruinou, I’m home.
💥 Now, do I start with a lawn care masterclass or the ultimate curry recipe? You decide.
