Anthea Bissolati
When I die, it will not matter to me how many people come to my funeral. I will be dead. So unless Jesus is showing me a reel of my send-off, it really won’t matter. I don’t need you to show up to my funeral for me. But I would like to think that you would show up for my daughter.
What would break my dead heart is if Jesus did show me a reel of my send-off and my child sat alone saying goodbye to me.
Is it not important that she knows that her mother mattered to others and not only her? Is it not comforting to know that she is not the only one who misses me? Does it not comfort her to know that others share her loss? Just like there is safety in numbers I feel that there is also comfort in numbers. And that really is my point.
Something to Reflect On
Someone I will always hold dear in my heart was buried recently, and although he apparently meant so much to so many people, the many were not there.This is not a dig at anyone because there were valid reasons that some couldn’t make it. This is just something for us all to reflect on.
As another of my friends and I sat at the funeral crying for the loss of our friend, we started to question our own mortality and later our own value as humans. We sat and wondered if anyone would show up when we died. Would our families also sit alone, possibly wondering if their loved one really mattered to anyone but them?
This is something to reflect on, deeply.
Who Will Attend Your Funeral is Not a Popularity Contest
In this age of social media and technology, we spend a lot of our time pretending. Pretending to care and also pretending to not care. Pretending to love people, pretending to care what happens to them. Pretending to be happy and pretending to be sad. We spend so much time pretending that we forget how to be real. We forget how to actually show up. We forget how to make real time for real people.
Thousands of Facebook friends but who are they actually? Do they add value to your life? Do you really know them? Have they earned the right to see pictures of your family and where you go and what you do? Everybody is now a digital creator and that is great, more success to you! But on a personal level who really matters to you and who do you matter to?
It Does Matters Who Showed Up For You in Life
Our late friend made a lot of mistakes in his later years but I don’t for one second believe that diminished who he was to us in his glory days. So I showed up for the person that he was when I first met him, for the person he became and even for the person that I prayed for in his last years. I showed up for the perfectly flawed person that he was.
This is my reflection. Yes, my chest still feels heavy and my heart is still broken.
Every time I lose someone I love, my heart breaks.
Every time someone I love loses someone they love, my heart breaks.
So, in all honesty, my heart has been breaking for over 30 years already. Growing up on the Cape Flats will do that to you.
Today I can breathe though and for that I am grateful.
Sending love ❤
