Chipyks
Ladies, gentlemen, and moral panic enthusiasts, gather ’round, because the Hollywood-fed narrative about Satanists is about to get dissected like a frog in AP Biology… only the frog has better life choices and a better wardrobe.
Disclaimer: Before the pitchfork patrol gets excited, this article isn’t promoting Satanism, goat sacrifices, or your cousin’s weird crystal cult. It’s commentary, not recruitment. The point is to highlight how Hollywood manufactures fear and how society swallows it whole. If you’re offended, relax. No one’s asking you to trade your Bible for a black candle.
Drew Binsky pops the camera on, and there’s your classic “I’m-a-good-person” lady, flailing arms, face full of moral outrage: “Why won’t you be my friend? I pay taxes! I’m ethical!”
Meanwhile, the Satanist leans back, black nails glinting, probably a black candle somewhere catching smoke, and drops the truth with the calm precision of a sniper: “We don’t drink blood. We don’t kill people. That’s Hollywood’s fiction.”
Boom. There it is. The first fact: despite centuries of sensationalism, the Church of Satan is not a coven of serial killers or Dracula extras. Founded in 1966 by Anton LaVey, its philosophy is a carefully constructed, theatrical para-religion rooted in egoism, logic, indulgence, and personal sovereignty. That’s right: no supernatural hellfire, no ritual murder, just an unapologetic embrace of human nature and pleasure. Think philosophy with a leather jacket and a pentagram patch.
Second fact: Aleister Crowley, the “wickedest man in the world” according to Edwardian newspapers, laid the groundwork for Anton LaVey’s ideas with “Do what thou wilt.” Crowley’s angle: mystical, arcane, a cryptic velvet-gloved rebellion against society’s morals. LaVey stripped the mysticism, left the rebellion, added a dash of sardonic humor, and said: “Own your selfishness, enjoy life, and don’t apologize to anyone, ever.” Same energy, different execution: Crowley = silk robes, incense, cryptic poetry. LaVey = leather, martinis, and a middle finger with a side of flair.
WATCH: Drew Binsky – I Entered America’s Most Feared Satanic Cult
Separating Fiction From Documented Practice
Now let’s talk context, middle-man style: Hollywood? The lying little weasel of mass culture. For decades, it has peddled Satanists as the ultimate moral threat—blood, ritual, murder, chaos—because fear sells popcorn. Meanwhile, actual Satanists? Most are intellectual, ethical, and above all, self-aware. They read Nietzsche, indulge responsibly, laugh at societal hypocrisy, and yes, occasionally light a candle because aesthetic. Hollywood isn’t just wrong—it’s gaslighting.
Here’s the hubristic angle: if you’re sitting there judging, you’re probably missing the irony. The true scandal isn’t the Church of Satan. It’s that humans are terrified of other humans being better at living life than they are. The devil you think you know isn’t evil. The villain is human insecurity dressed as moral outrage.
And let’s be brutally factual:
Founded 1966: Anton LaVey’s Church of Satan codified individualism and theatrical rebellion.
Philosophy: Egoism, indulgence, logic, personal sovereignty.
No blood drinking, no killing: Hollywood invented those stories.
Crowley influence: Philosophical foundation, stripped of arcane rituals.
Cultural impact: LaVey’s Church is more performance art than threat, a critique of society’s obsession with control and fear.
Fear-mongerings a Cultural Placebo
So here’s the conclusion: fear-mongering about Satanists is a cultural placebo, society’s way of keeping itself entertained while terrified of people who live unflinchingly, unapologetically, and stylishly. The moral panic is the monster. The real Satanists? Too busy enjoying steak, whiskey, intellectual conversation, and the occasional black candle aesthetic to notice your fear.
Moral of the story: stop worshipping fear, start reading facts, own your ego, and enjoy life. And if someone calls you a Satanist just because you question Hollywood’s bullshit, smile, nod, and consider handing them a candle and a Nietzsche quote. Because the hubris isn’t theirs—it’s yours if you think fear is stronger than logic.
Chipyks writes in his personal capacity. His views and perspectives do not necessarily reflect that of the Bruinou.com Editorial Team.
